My husband and I are travelers. COVID stopped us in our tracks, but we are trying it out again for three months and this is the first trip we have taken since I started writing in 2019.
I will be a digital nomad!
I got to admit; it sounded wonderful!
Visiting lovely places around the world while working on my blog, our YouTube Channel – we will start it eventually (see what I mean?) and working on my two memoirs.
But, it is so much harder than it looks!!
Who the hell am I kidding? This takes discipline!!
Beating myself up when on a stunning beach with the waves crashing in front of me and I sit on a beach chair under a palapa next to my fabulous hubby while I hold tight to a cold drink, happens.
Delay happens more often than it should.
Long walks with my new camera, cute shops, a concert, a long dinner, a travel day as we shift places, a swim, sunrises and sunsets, a cooking class, a photoshoot. Oh, my!! The days get filled.
Not that I am not committed. I am! I even hired a memoir coach. (Danielle Anderson) I love working with her, I really do! She is golden!! She is having me dig deep and work hard. But there is a difference between wandering and taking notes on my phone and actually sitting my butt down on a chair and focusing.
I keep postponing things.
The shitty Internet has created problems. We live in Mexico. Our connections drop daily. Often we don’t get some for days. Face it, lakes, beach towns, and islands are not known for speedy wi-fi. That really doesn’t help matters. Lack of decent connection derails me. I put things off till we get a better one. Maybe in the next town, or the next one, or the next. It is hard to coordinate for that hour or two when we might be in luck. Then the wind comes up or some such thing and boom – it is gone.
I know there are ways to write without being connected. But gathering thoughts and parking myself for a while is difficult.
Just like eating one bar of chocolate brings on cravings for more, so does “downtime.” A girl could get used to it.
As someone with ADHD, I don’t make excuses. I am, not, not able to do the work, but I do find it hard to not give in to temptation.
I tell Glenn every morning – make sure I write today! But he is tempted like I am to explore, and the days get away from us.
Maybe the key is staying in one place long enough for the novelty to dissipate. The call of the beach, the restaurants, the ruins, the shops, the excursions to become less strong. Maybe. But for us, each day will bring something forth to occupy our time and we have a very hard time saying no! We feed off each other and can talk each other into doing just one more thing.
Tomorrow is always another day I think to myself.
I am facing the truth. Sometimes it isn’t the overwhelming feelings of my ADHD that stop me. Sometimes I am just plain lazy. And I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing to be. Lots of insight comes to me when I am settled and aware, just thinking away. Sometimes I remember to write those thoughts down and keep the notes app on my phone busy. But I have erased a note or two then kicked myself for doing so.
Other times – well, maybe it was just thought. Only that. I learn that every thought that passes through me doesn’t have to find a home.
My writer’s groups, which I have written about before, are important to me. They keep me on track. But a travel day might fall on the same day as a meeting. Or we may book a tour instead. I haven’t been as frequent a visitor to the groups. I keep sending out emails to them, letting the members know “I will be on the next ZOOM!” Then stuff gets in the way and I look at the clock and damn, I missed the meetup.
I will try again. Next time. I am starting to forget what they all look like and what their projects are. It will all come back in an instant if I ever get online.
I doubt my situation is unique.
I am sure others flounder in procrastination. I just read that there are types of procrastinators.
Mine seem to be:
*The Performer – (delayers I guess) Works best under pressure. Yeah, that can happen to me. Sometimes I can crank out “brilliant’ works as the minutes dwindle. Today I wrote three blog posts. I have been putting them off for weeks. I think they work. But on other days, it all seems to go by too fast.
*The Novelty Seeker – (the distractible) always coming up with new projects and ideas to take on. Right now, I definitely fall into this category too. We are on vacation!! Yes; it is for three months through four Mexican states, and there are things to do, people to meet, gin and tonics to quaff. Sand to put my feet in.
I know I am procrastinating. And I know I want to accomplish things. I want to finish my memoirs; I want to start our new YouTube Channel with my husband, and I want to keep up with the myriad of blog posts I have notes on. A photography book or two is something I want to do. Goals. Lists.
How I wonder, do the die-hard bloggers, YouTubers, and writers do this?
I have friends, other writers, who have a practice of writing each day. They have discipline. Things are done. They have met their goals, and are developing new ones, which they will also meet.
I really have to applaud them all.
One day, I might do that too.
Hope Springs Eternal.